02 Nov YOUR ALLIES ARE DISGUISED IN THE HEART OF DEFEAT
There have been times in my life, where defeat ran my world, and it was a bear to wrestle with. In fact, I don’t know if you can relate, but it seemed such an easy place to go in my mind.
I felt self-conscious about the family I grew up in, seven kids and blue collar family. We always had food on the table and hand me down clothes, and presents under the Christmas tree. But somehow, I felt unimportant in this family, and unlike the rest, and deeply sad.
Yet inside me was a reserve, a strength that I developed, a desire to better myself and my life, almost a determination to make something of myself. Hard knocks came, and times of deep despair, losing two sisters, under the age of 50 years old, and my niece under the age of 18, then my grandmother, then my father.
Grief was kind of all I knew. Oh, I did hair still, and took care of clients, worked 40 hours a week. Light got in anyway. I started writing, and I found a therapist who took that lonely walk with me, I still consider her to be no other than an angel in disguise. There were days, I laid on her couch and just sobbed, as there was much I harbored in my heart. I literally would get in the car afterward, and sit until I could gather enough energy to drive myself home.